I have to agree with some thoughts, you wait for something but you don't get it. As for 'telling stories' this one also doesn't reach my expectations.
You see, when hearing a story, afterwards you know what the story was about, here I don't. Though as a dj tool, this track would work pretty good at certain points of a set.
I like your approach towards new formulas, but I have to say you haven't found it yet and I'm sure you will!
I just love the form, you have to work a bit more on the content. Good luck, guys!
UPD After continuous listens I liked it better. Can you please write me: amphiton(a)gmail.com ? I don't like PMs on forums :/