Paul Eye

FTFY (I think I can claim to know myself...)

Well it goes both ways. I don't want to be disturbed and I don't want to disturb either. And yes, I'm sensitive to noise*. That's one of the main reasons I've detested living in an apartment ever since I moved away from home and one of the main reasons why I can't get any music done even if I try (not that I'm that convinced that moving to the countryside would actually help with the music in any way). Anyway, thanks for the info and help. I'll let this sink in for a while (whatever that may mean). Maybe I'll do something about it, maybe I won't, but don't hold your breath. Doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate the help though. *and that's what darkpsy/hitech etc is mostly to me, just a jumbled mess of irritating noise

Well that would explain at least something. Still, if I do get an official diagnose (not that I really know how to go about it anyway), what then? I go tell people about it and they go "oh, that's your excuse for everything" and the shit continues. If I was born like this and there's really nothing that can be done about it, well, maybe that's a comfort of some kind. Not that it'd make life any better. And I want away from this apartment. I hate having neighbours. I want to be able to blast music in the middle of the night without worrying about disturbing someone. Been planning on moving to some small house to turn into a fucking hermit or something. Maybe try to get some music done for the first time in almost 15 years but I doubt that would go anywhere.

And the one thing I very much dislike about talking to people is that I hate "surprises" so to say, I mean I seriously don't often know how to respond/react to things they say, not at least on the spot. Unless it's something familiar or what I can easily relate to I just end up giving some generic mumbo-jumbo answer (or most probably nothing at all) that means exactly nothing. Proper(ly deep) conversations with people seem almost impossible since it seems that whatever information I receive takes all too long to process. I might come up with what I should have said as a response to something from anything ranging from a few days later to maybe a month later. A bit too late if you've already fucked up something by not having anything to say on the spot so shit just gets left hanging becuase I can't deal with it. And it often seems like I forget what I've even talked about with someone (not always though, seems like the harder it is for me to process the easier it gets lost somewhere, I'm however not exactly sure TBH). Maybe this seems to some people that I'm completely ignoring what they're saying while all I'm trying to do is processing the information and failing. Or something.

Oh dear. Haven't played that one in years.

Uninstalled Steam. Maybe the third time this year. Let's see when it starts tempting me to come back again.

A general lack of giving a fuck about anything. Depression maybe, tried to talk to some psychiatrists a few years ago. Bunch of incompetent pricks if you ask me. I'd like to start doing a bunch of things but I know it'll fuck up eventually anyway so why bother. Feeling left out if I'm in the company of more than 1 person. I just dislike trying to pretend to be social in a bigger group of people. Psytrance parties are mostly OK as I don't need to be social and talk to people if I don't want to (most of the time) and if I have a chat with someone at a party it's preferably with someone. Been mostly alone since forever. And don't tell me I need friends or a girlfriend or something. Tried that, doesn't help shit. I do have some people (3 to be exact, all female) who I do feel mostly comfortable being around, but TBH it doesn't help much either, and when (if) it does it's temporary. And I'm impossibly pedantic, perfectionistic and somewhat insecure in general. Maybe just a personality trait. Seems like I've always been the slightly weird kid who gets bulllied, ridiculed and shunned whatever I do and wherever I go. And if you ask me do I feel like being 34, no. Barely out of my teens it seems most of the time. And so forth. (and seems like I actually did press the "post" button this time (after some careful consideration) instead of just going "why bother, nobody gives a fuck" and deleting the text)

I kinda wish I would be diagnosed with some mental illness or condition, if only to have at least something to blame this shit on.

And just to completely contradict myself, I actually played Monster Crunch in my latest set OddLounge 2 in the DJ Promotion forum.

Oh dear, the last time I was asked to play a party on a 1-day notice, I cooked up something quite twisted. Well, it happened again. Planned and played after barely any sleep, and after lots of tinkering with a puzzle that seemed imposssible at first, I present you my second appearance in the OddLounge series of downtempo oriented parties. Tracklist: Point - Tripolation Wolfen Technologies - External Encounters Saeg - Sophisticated Abstractions (Broken Mix) BlackStarrFinale - Siege Of Phobos Phillax - Monster Crunch Gay Satanic Hippie - Bach On Crack (Back On Crack Remix) Cybernetika - Prismatic Reflection Radioactive Sandwich - Stratos Ra Djan - Glass Bead Game Artifact303 - Delirium (Downward Spiral) GoaTree - Artificial Intelligence Zirrex - Rock Box

Modern psy in a nutshell. (And that cover is really fugly.)

And since I posted this, I've acquired the COP album, Cryptic Crunch and Kiss The Future (for the Tim Schuldt track).

Oh this thread is alive again Well, TBH I haven't thought much (read: at all) of this "lately". Maybe I'll do it some day, maybe not. But not in the near future anyway.

Yeah. Only track 7 on CD 1 is broken. The rest is fine and also CD 2 and 3.

I got a "CRC failed" error (using 7-zip) when extracting the FLAC archive for CD 1. I checked if it nulls against my CD rip, and found this: https://imgur.com/a/czXXq (the upper one is from the archive, the lower from the CD). The waveform should continue after the split on the upper one, and after this point it seems it's missing some samples as I can hear the tracks playing on top of each other with one of them delayed (if 2 files null when phase inverting one of them I should get silence). Shouldn't be a REAPER glitch either. Anyway, it's not like I need the download per se (but I like to keep it as a backup "just in case"). But did anyone else get this?

I don't have Fallout 4. My financial situation makes me not want to pay 60€ for a game :/

Oh dear, Steam had a sale...got these for cheap: The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (seems like I need to mod it quite heavily to make it playable) Dragon Age: Origins Ultimate Edition Divinity II: Developer's Cut Mass Effect & Mass Effect 2 Digital Deluxe Edition Yes, RPGs. I blame Skyrim (and just when I finally got a well running, not crashing and bugging heavily modded version of it running...) And also, The Talos Principle. Frustrating? Yes. I don't know how many times I've been cursing this game to hell when playing but when you get the solution of a puzzle there's some proper sense of success. And the game is packed with philosophy and backstory (that's completely optional but adds some interest to it). Maybe a bit too much philosophy at times as it seems a bit tacked on but not too annoying anyway. The religious undertones on the other hand get somewhat annoying.

Yeah, worked live way better than in home listening I wasn't that excited about Oblivion Planet and Order To My Chaos, but live they worked very well (and the rest too).

Yes. Even I liked it. Especially that Interuniversal Grid track is yum

Rinkadink has to be one of my favourite artist names and fits the music like a glove Zen Mechanics

Offtopic, but my first festival was Voov 2001 (10th anniversary). I still have the poster on my wall And Ray Castle had a lecture about early goa trance history at Kosmos Festival in Finland this summer. Can't remember much of what he talked about but there were all sorts of nice bits of information there.

Yes. Less than what I'd have paid (and still do) for rent alone for 4 months in Helsinki. And that 2000 included everything. Can't remember the specifics. Prices of course vary depending on where and what you eat

3 years ago our (me + my ex) entire 4 month trip to India cost me about 2000€, Helsinki-Delhi-Helsinki flights included. Our house in Chapora was 10.000 rupees for the month we were there. That's about 150 Euros And about 100 rupees gets you a good meal. 200 and you're having a feast.

I have JIS - Illusions of Reality and it's a CDr. Discogs is usually right about these things.

I'm not exactly familiar with the history, but look up Ior Bock on Wikipedia for example. He was...quite an interesting person