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"V/A - Egorythmia - Remixes 2011


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Artist: Various

Title: Egorythmia - Remixes 2011

Label: Iono Music

Date: October, 2011


1. Beyond Gravity (Aquafeel Remix)

2. We Can Fly (Hi-Profile Remix)

3. Night Sight (Flegma & Nerso Remix)

4. Eternal (Prisma Remix)

5. Eternal (Gaudium Remix)

6. Eternal (Optiloop Remix)

7. Eternal (Pop Tart Remix)





This release is a perfect example of things going wrong quickly. Imagine you're a plane manufacturer and need raw materials to build your plane. Instead of using the trusted partner you've been in business with for years you decide to save a few bucks and go with the kids in the Thailand sweat shop to make the rivets and bolts and sh*t. They finish on time, under budget, and your plane looks shiny and new. Things are looking great and you appear to be the toast of the board of directors of your grandfather's company.


But then your plane begins to have engine trouble. Seems to always be in need of repair. But hey man, you've got deadlines and stock holders can't make any dough with the bird in the shop. So against the advice of your head mechanic you schedule it for a flight. And what do you know George Clooney and his entourage has booked your plane. That's...unusual. But whatever. And just as you're settling in for a good nights sleep after a Tony Montana coke binge you get word that your lovely Thai manufactured plane has crashed.


No survivors.


That's right everyone dead including the most famous bachelor penis on the planet. There's an inquiry of course into what went wrong (as well as the obligatory in remembrance tribute to mister Clooney running night and day on the cable networks) and the relatives of your victims are lined up outside company headquarters screaming for your head and waving litigation angrily in their hands. But you have lawyers and spokespeople to insulate you from that crap.


But a few months later the report comes back. Funny thing...apparently the 9 and 10 year olds that put the eyelets on Michael Jordan's shoes aren't really qualified to manufacture parts of an airplane. When it comes out how much money you saved the company (it ain't that much) and the ridiculously huge bonus you got well, now people are really angry. Media coverage is not stop and you are the lead story for all the talking heads on TV. You're painted as more of a villain than Donald Sterling and all he did was say racist nonsense in the hopes to bang a ho.


You deprived young girls of Clooney cock.


Eventually the harassment becomes too much and after the company's stock tanks accountants have to shell out multiple millions in lawsuits you receive a letter informing you that your services are no longer required. Things are looking bleak. The final straw is a video that is leaked by a bitter employee from the mail room that shows you blasting underage Thai girls and boys with your man seed. Yep, that's when Frosted Flakes just won't cut it so you step up your game and now it's bullets for breakfast.


And that's what I thought about this release. I know, I'm either a genius or incredibly insane. The compilation begins beautifully with a stunning Aquafell remix in the Iono vein of melodic progressive trance. Then it begins to falter a bit with a couple of tracks that are not as lush and lacking depth. And then for some inexplicable reason it ends with 4 remixes of the same track. Did you just have an "aw f*ck it" moment? Even the promo guy just said f*ck it. And I quote...


"With his extremely popular project Egorythmia, Boban Laszovski from the Republic Macedonia..."


And that's it? It's not a f*cking novel with a cliffhanger, finish your sentence. They're great remixes on their own even if they sound very similar and I liked this release a lot, but I'm sure Mr. Egorythmia has more than a few tracks that could've been chosen. It's just not sinking in with you people. A remix album is supposed to sound different from the original work and definitely different from the other remixes. I'd rather listen to a weaker album with unique characteristics than a carbon copy with different track names. Stop churning out the same color by numbers bullsh*t, it bores me. Make me sit up and say,


"Holy sh*t I didn't see that coming! Wow, that was awesome!"


Instead it's the same bowl of cereal with 2% milk.


And a gun.





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