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The Entertaining Thread


abasio

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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have

never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

 

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into

bed.

 

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel

like it, I just want you to hold me.”

 

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me

to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look

by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in

the bedroom?”

 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to

take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We

went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond

earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was

one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because

she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play

tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all

dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel

like it.”

 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

WHAT?”

 

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re

just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy

your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she

was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and

not for the things I buy you?”

 

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either

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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have

never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

 

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into

bed.

 

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel

like it, I just want you to hold me.”

 

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me

to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look

by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in

the bedroom?”

 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to

take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We

went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond

earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was

one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because

she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play

tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all

dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel

like it.”

 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

WHAT?”

 

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re

just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy

your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she

was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and

not for the things I buy you?”

 

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either

 

 

HAHAHAHA excellent!!! I should try that sometime ;)

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guess which annoying tune I had in my head when I woke up this morning?

 

hehe. still infinitely better than having the crap from commercial radio stations, that i'm constantly bombarded with at work, stuck in your head. i'd gladly take the nyan cat instead.

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