Evolution - Shiva Technology

[Trance2MoveU]

Artist: Evolution
Title: Shiva Technology
Label: Gaia Tontrager
Date: 1996

1. The Experience Of Taking A Step Into Someone's Dream
2. Tribalism
3. Peyote
4. Here We Go
5. Sub-Marine
6. Goa (Rmx)
7. Exotic Planet
8. Cuzco
9. Ritual Trance
10. Sparkling Sun
11. Equilibrium


Hmmmm...how best to describe this release. I know...if I made a film it would have the appearance of me being subpoenaed to capitol hill to testify on a this album.


*camera pans down to give a frontal shot of the Capitol building. It then moves through a very ornate lobby into a huge room packed with the press, observers and 60 congressmen on a dais.*

I'm sitting at a table with numerous microphones as photographers crowd the floor in front of the table taking shots.

The Senator from New Jersey speaks. "Michael you have the floor."

Me: "Thank you honorable sir. I will attempt to keep this brief as I know we all want to return to our families and forget this ever happened. I have reviewed a lot of albums ranging from darkpsy to ambient to goa trance. Some have been great, even genre defying, and some...well, not so much. But distinguished members of the House I am here to testify:


Next to Rainbow Static's Tickle My Bunny Fone, this is by far the worst piece of sh*t I have ever heard."



*A roar echoes through the chamber as flashbulbs pop and the room is filled with blinding lights. Reporters start screaming into their cellphones as the speaker of the House bangs the gavel demanding order. Order! After 10 minutes of howling chaos, he finally gets it.

Senator: "For the record, please show that Michael is referring to the album Shiva Technology by Andreas Roll and Dirk Obudzinski produced in 1996 under the name of the project Evolution."

Me: "Yes sir. First of all I didn't pay for this. If I had, I would've been mad that he wasted my time and then had the audacity to charge me for that priveledge. If anyone out there did buy this waste of plastic, he should have a free ticket to punch the artists in the face. Repeatedly."

*more howls and pictures being taken*

Senator: "Order! Order!"

Me: "Let me explain. I don't make music, but I know what I like and what sounds good. I am a firm believer that when one gets expensive equipment, he or she should read the directions on how to make it work. Otherwise nothing of substance is created and art itself sheds a tear. While I have no proof, I believe the two gentlemen in question defecated upon the manual and proceeded to record nothing of value which only served to take away form what was a vibrant goa trance scene. Just because you bought the equipment doesn't make you a producer. When we wield power we don't understand, in this case... the instructions, we can only inflict pain."

Senator: "Why do you have such a certain opinion?"

Me: "Take the first track. Over 12 minutes long. With the total lack of changes it should've only been 1 minute. And that is a running theme throughout the album. No development. It's as if they diddled a little on the keyboard and twisted some knobs, thereby insulting the presets on their equipment. They might as well have punched music in the eye."

*more gasps and angered mutterings from the gallery.*

Me: "The idea of music is express yourself, not take a sh*t and leave the sequencer running. Melody, rhythm...totally bereft on this release. Ever been kicked in the scrotum sir? This is the soundtrack. So generic and uninteresting makes 4/4 time weep. Running a bassline for minutes at a time with no other sound on the canvas is abuse. Pure and simple. Putting your first stutterings with new equipment on a record is not responsible. If it is possible to defend such actions, perhaps this was their first attempt at music production as their 2nd album was a vast improvement, being quite enjoyable."

Senator: "Let the record show Michael is referring to exhibit B Oscillating Phenomena."

Me: "However, if that is the case, then no excuse can be given for putting such amateurish and repetitive drivel on a CD and then charging people for it. The proof is that on the album's discogs page it shows that the tracks were made from the time period beginning 1991-1995 by the label, but released in 1996. Since Andreas Roll started this label he is the chief plaintiff. This is fraud."

Senator: "I would like to thank the distinguished reviewer for his time and the call for multiple beatings of the artist will be taken under advisement. The reason for committees like this one is to shed light on the abuse of power and the mishandling of hardware so that we can better protect the public."

Yeah...that's how it would be.

Mdk

[JISNEGRO]

:lol:

 

This has been one of the funniest reviews I've ever read.

 

 

Thank you Trance2MoveU!

[no-nonsense]

Raw, listener-unfriendly early trance. Perhaps an acquired taste, but great music to space out to.

 

Johann Bley did a cool remix of the first track.

[Rotwang]

Indeed an entertaining review. It prompted me to check some tracks out on Discogs to see how bad this release really is.

 

Thing is, I actually kind of like it. It would be more accurately described as acid trance than Goa trance, so I think that it's missing the point a bit to complain about how repetitive it is. I might grab it off iTunes later.

[Trance2MoveU]

I'm glad everyone liked it. I try to be different.

 

I couldn't stand this release. It's not all their fault as it was made almost 20 years ago. Compared tothe stuff today I was amazed I was able to get through it.

 

@Rotwang- perhaps I'm one of their friends and wrote such an unflattering review to stoke you interest?

 

Mdk

[Rotwang]

@Rotwang- perhaps I'm one of their friends and wrote such an unflattering review to stoke you interest?

 

[Trance2MoveU]

Classic Keanu.

 

Mdk